In my training practice of 17 years, I have come across participants in my “Effective Communication workshops” from different organizations ranging from MNC’s to PSU’s and across different levels of the organization.
Most people in their effort to communicate speak too much. They tend to believe that the amount of airtime they get to speak is a reflection to their ability to communicate.
They are perplexed at the fact that despite them being such excellent communicators, their colleagues do not understand them. They blame THOSE who do not get them. It mostly comes as a rude shock to them when I without missing a beat ask them. “But did they understand what you wanted them to understand the way you wanted them to understand and did they do what you wanted them to do?” The answer a 100 percent is a big NO accompanied by a loud sigh “that is the issue”
My blanket advice is “speak half the amount you speak for a month and write to me an email describing to me your experience.”
90 % time I do not receive the email because they could not manage it. But the 10 % times I do receive the email, the participant is ready and willing to make the effort to increase their effectiveness as a communicator. The email a 100 percent of the times in different ways says, “I was not listening enough”
The point is made.
Effective Communication is about the ability to get the task done. The task could be comprehension or action or just emotional awareness. However there is always a goal or task to be achieved at the end. Listening is the skill paramount to this mission.
Much to most people’s surprise the one absolutely essential skill a person needs to possess or work on to be a great communicator is their ability to listen both to the said and to the unsaid
Listening is what takes you from lower order thinking to higher order thinking. Listening helps observation, reflection, deeper thinking, evaluating, understanding, correlating and then speaking.
The ability to LISTEN is the key.
The levels of listening are:
- Ignoring: Not really listening at all
- Pretending: Use of technique only
- Selective Listening: Listening only to some parts
- Attentive Listening: Listening only to words said
- Empathic Listening: Listening to words & feelings
Genuinely, what is it that you do with your people?
Anila Rattan is a facilitator, trainer, psychometric assessor and is co-founder at Larks Learning Pvt. Ltd. She has a unique background which combines hospitality, shared services, teaching and training. She has worked with a range of corporates and academic institutions. Additionally she has obtained international certifications in training and psychometric assessments.
Learn more and reach Anila Rattan for training workshops or DISC assessments at www.larkslearning.com, anila@larkslearning.com or 91-9810335546
